Zack v Visa Office

Current score:
Im not entirely sure how successful they've been, But I certainly dont have any points on the board.
So the consulate website says that if you go in to get a visa, it should get back to you that day. The people I talked to at Stanford in charge of the program said that that was a little ambitious, and that you usually have to come back the next day.
I get there, with all of my paperwork, and the guy goes--
"You know that these take three to four weeks"
I leave in two weeks.
"any way to expedite it?"
"well you can check in on its progress"
"but that doesnt speed it up in any way?"
"no"
"so is there anything I can do to speed up the process?"
"well if you call in we can tell you the status of your paperwork..."
well that conversations wasnt going anywhere.
My current plan is to hope that they are faster than they say they are, or that the IFMR, the organization that I am working for in India, has big-ass handful of strings it can pull.
Unrelated funny events:
A bunch of us who were at the same appointment time and who had been talking were standing in line together were getting bored. The guy behind me, a twentysomething white guy, starts talking to this 4 year old indian boy about growing tall, height, etc. They are talking about how tall the boy will get, and so the white guy asks him how tall his mom is--
"My mom is like a dog." The child's dad looks uncomfortable.
"Thats not very nice" says the white guy "maybe you should say your mom is like a bush."
Great, that made it better.
And in more unrelated news, I bought a surfboard on the way back home. So if this whole visa-to-save-people-from-poverty thing doesnt work out, I can always become a beach bum. This seems like a viable alternative at this point.

Introduction and Preparations

So first some intro on this entire voyage--
I got to that point in the middle of freshman year where everyone was scrambling for something to do over the summer. I sent out a clusterfuck of emails, a number of them to the parents of old swim buddies who were professors at Stanford, something along the lines of
"hi. I dont know if you remember me but I swam with your son/daughter (insert name of sun/daughter) and was looking for something interesting to do this summer etc etc etc."
I heard back from one of them on Sunday. Had an interview on Monday. Was given the spot on Wednesday (gotta love random connections) and had to decide by Friday. So in a week I went from having no clue what the fuck I was doing over the summer to still having no clue what I am doing over the summer, but at least knowing what country I will be in. I am still more or less in that state of mind right now.

OK I know a little more now. We are working on micro-finance research in Chennai, which is on the eastern coast of India in the more southerly third of the country. But still, it sounds like it is a bit up in the air. We had a meeting with some of the organizers the other day, and it went something like this--

"so here is a flowchart of the organizational structure of the institute you are working through." (the other students and I look at the amorphous blob or interconnected circles and squares on the whiteboard, filled with seemingly random capital letters)

"you are supposed to be working here." a finger points at one of the acronym laden bubbles.
"but if that doesn't work out then maybe go talk to the people here here or here" (three more bubbles are accused) "and they might have something for you to do."

So Im starting to think that my cluelessness is, bogglingly, not my fault at all but a symptom of some larger confusion. And for some reason I find this comforting.